If you’ve been on social media lately, you may have come across countless videos of straight women declaring themselves celibate. “Decenter men!” they chant as they march into the sunset, arms linked. But how did we even get here and what did men do to make women that mad?

Long story short, they just existed. To qoute the Vice President, they existed in the context of all in which they lived and what came before them.

Unfortunately, that context happens to be a ragingly misogynistic patriarchal society, which also seems to be regressing on the progress it has made in the past century.

It’s Toxic to All of Us

With the rise of “tradwives” – women who choose to lead traditionally feminine lifestyles – Nara Smith and Ballerina Farms, women are beginning to debate between new age and traditional lifestyles.

Although these lifestyles are on completely different poles of our political spectrum, their views on women are not. The truth is conservative men view us as private property, and liberal men view us as public property. Either way, the patriarchy we live in is eating good. Society is urging us to pick our poison, perhaps don’t pick at all.

Women Are Autonomous, Right?

Throughout this article, you may notice that my views on patriarchy are negative, that is because I do not like it, and I am entitled to feeling like that. You may completely disagree with me and believe that patriarchy is a great thing, and you also are entitled to feeling that way.

I have to respect that because I wholeheartedly support the idea of autonomy – the right to self-govern. So did Immanuel Kant, the philosopher who invented the idea of autonomy.

Kantianism declares that nothing can be constituted as morally right unless it passes the qualification of goodwill. Kant had a four-part test called Categorical Imperative, which determined whether or not an ideology or intention was morally right. The ideology must be able to be universalized, refrain from using people as means to an end, respect autonomy and stand scrutiny.

Well, patriarchy fails Kant’s test miserably. You would assume that if Kant lived to see the modern feminist movements, he would back it. The gag is Kant did not view us women as persons, so by his view and his moral theory, we are exempt from deserving autonomy. That is because Kant, like many men today, was a product of a misogynistic patriarchal society.

Let’s Just Stop Feeding It

In 2019, South Korea witnessed the birth of the 4B Movement. The movement is based on the refusal of heterosexual marriage, childbirth, dating and sex – all of these words start with the letter “B” in the Korean language.

Women in South Korea are rejecting the objectification of women in heterosexual relationships and reclaiming the autonomy unique to singleness. Since its birth, 4B has only exploded in popularity, with its influence bleeding into cultures all over the world. We are seeing a shift toward voluntary celibacy; women are removing their romantic lives from the jaws of the patriarchy and reclaiming aspects of their autonomy.

Although this does not cure the patriarchy’s effect on our lives, these movements are beginning to shake the tables a bit.

Reactions to this shift to celibacy have resulted in cities like Busan, Korea, paying singles to date and corporations centered on dating, like Bumble, pitching an anti-celibacy campaign to convince women to come back.

Women are going to lengths to prioritize their happiness, and I commend them. It is not easy to defy a society that teaches us that a woman’s value depends on how well she satisfies the needs of men. Shifts like these may be the very things that change the context in which future generations are raised.