In recent years, Gen-X has shifted toward lifestyle trends rooted in conservatism, with the rise of aesthetics like the ‘soft girl’ and ‘trad wife.’ Hypergamy — dating and marrying people in higher socioeconomic classes — has been woven into today’s pop culture.
The idea of having a man pay for your lifestyle is heavily popularized in Black feminine media, especially through music. There is a clear disconnect in that the celebrities promoting these ideals are not average Black women.
What does this rise in conservative relationship styles mean for the average Black woman? It poses significant dangers.
The Rise of Conservatism in the Black Community is Dangerous for Black Women
In recent years, growing conservative movement within the Black community has gained traction, emphasizing traditional gender roles, patriarchal family structures and a rejection of progressive ideals.
While some may argue that conservatism offers a return to stability and moral values, its implications for Black women are deeply troubling. This ideological shift threatens the autonomy, safety and well-being of Black women.
There are three reasons why the rise of conservatism in the Black community is dangerous for Black women: its correlation with higher rates of domestic abuse, its disregard for Black-specific social issues, and the unsustainability of the “kept woman” lifestyle in modern society.
Conservatism and Abuse
One of the most alarming consequences of conservatism’s rise in the Black community is its reinforcement of patriarchal structures that contribute to domestic abuse. Traditional conservative ideologies emphasize male authority and female submission, which can create environments where abusive behavior is tolerated, justified and normalized.
Research shows that adherence to traditional gender roles correlates with higher rates of domestic violence and allows power imbalances that have left women vulnerable to mistreatment.
In many conservative spaces, domestic abuse is downplayed or reframed as a private matter rather than a societal issue. Women are often encouraged to “submit” to their partners, expecting their obedience to result in stable relationships. However, this approach ignores the reality that abusers do not change simply because their partners comply with their demands. Instead, it emboldens perpetrators and leaves victims without support.
Furthermore, conservative rhetoric discourages divorce, often painting it as a failure rather than a necessary escape from harm. In Black religious communities, which are often intertwined with conservative ideology, women are sometimes pressured to endure abusive relationships for the sake of reputation or righteousness. This creates a cycle where women are expected to sacrifice their well-being to uphold traditional family structures, making it even harder for them to seek help or leave dangerous situations.
Conservatism’s Disregard for Black-Specific Issues
Conservatism in the Black community often ignores or minimizes the systemic issues that disproportionately affect Black people, especially Black women.
Conservative ideology often preaches personal responsibility as the primary solution to economic and social struggles. This dismisses the impact of systemic racism, economic inequality and gender discrimination.
This is particularly harmful to Black women, who face the compounded effects of racism and sexism in their daily lives. Issues like the wage gap, healthcare disparities and racialized violence require systemic solutions, yet Black conservatism frequently aligns with political movements that oppose policies designed to address these inequalities.
Conservatives often reject social welfare programs, affirmative action and police reform efforts — all of which have been critical in helping Black women navigate systemic roadblocks.
Similarly, Black conservative spaces often adopt a rhetoric that blames Black women for the struggles within the community, suggesting that feminism and career ambition have “ruined” the Black nuclear family. This narrative ignores the historical and systemic factors that have contributed to family structures and economic instability, instead placing undue responsibility on Black women while absolving men and external forces of accountability.
Additionally, Black conservatism frequently aligns with broader right-wing movements that are openly hostile to social justice causes such as Black Lives Matter, reproductive rights and gender equity. By aligning with conservative politics, many Black conservatives support policies that actively work against the interests of Black women, such as restrictions on abortion access, which disproportionately harm Black women due to existing healthcare disparities.
In This Economy?
The “kept woman” or “trophy wife” lifestyle, popularized on social media, has many women aspiring to stay at home while being finiacially supported by their husbands. While this model is appealing to some as a means of escaping workforce discrimination and financial burdens, unfortunately, it is unsustainable in the current economic climate.
In 2025, the cost of living continues to rise, making it nearly impossible for most single-income households to maintain a comfortable lifestyle. According to the MIT Living Wage calculator, a household of three (one working adult) requires $81,245 for a livable annual net income in Wake County, NC.
Housing, healthcare, education and childcare expenses have increased significantly, meaning that relying solely on a husband’s income is a financial risk that most families cannot afford. Even among wealthier couples, unexpected crises can quickly upend financial security, leaving women who have relinquished their financial independence especially vulnerable.
The “kept woman” lifestyle assumes that men will always be reliable providers, yet statistics show that economic instability disproportionately affects Black men due to employment discrimination and other systemic barriers. When a household’s entire financial stability depends on one person, it places Black women in an uncertain position should their partner lose their job or become ill.
I Ain’t Judging Though
Being raised in a traditional African household, this lifestyle is what is familiar to me, but it would be ignorant of me to ignore its reality. The rise of conservatism in the Black community is not just a political shift—it is a dangerous regression that threatens the safety and autonomy of Black women.
By reinforcing patriarchal structures that enable domestic abuse, disregard systemic issues that disproportionately harm Black women and promote an economically unsustainable lifestyle, conservatism leaves Black women in a vulnerable position.
Instead of idolizing these types of relationships, which are too good to be true, I would advise Black women to shift their energy into self-development through education and entrepreneurship. If you want a certain lifestyle, it mustn’t be contingent on your relationship with another person.
All in all, women have the freedom to choose whatever lifestyle may suit them best, but they must be fully aware of the beliefs they are rooted in.
